How To Tell a Narcissist Goodbye

get over a narcissist
Last updated November 11, 2018

What is the best way to say goodbye to a narcissist and leave their vicious cycle? If you have this question frequently hovering over your head, keep reading on! You’ll uncover the mystery on how to tell a narcissist goodbye for good. 

get over a narcissist

Are you having problems with a narcissistic person?

Yes, narcissists can cause severe problems in your life. The dreadful truth is they can be everywhere. Therefore, to get over a narcissist can be painfully hard, but it’s vital to your mental health. You may encounter a narcissist on a daily basis. A narcissist can be your loved one, for example, a friend, a member of your family, or romantic love.

The consequences of their behavior can affect us severely before we become aware of it.

Did you know? Narcissistic personality disorder makes up between 0.5 – 1% of the entire world population, which means that one person in a group of 100 people could easily be a narcissist.

How to tell a narcissist goodbye? Is there a way to end this vicious cycle?

If you experience hard times with a narcissist in your life, we prepared you a detailed guide on how to tell a narcissist goodbye for good.

How to tell a narcissist goodbye

The initial signs that you’re under a narcissist’s influence

If you don’t take care of yourself, they leave you drained and exhausted. What’s worse, you are questioning yourself and your mental sanity due to their supreme manipulative skills.

As a result of their game, your self-confidence starts to decline substantially, and that way they gain power over you. Before you even manage to understand what’s been going on, they have you under your control. You’ll end up wondering how to tell a narcissist goodbye and the answer might seem elusive. However, there’s always a solution to all the suffering.

Narcissists will never tell you the truth. They live with the fear of abandonment and can’t deal with facing their own shame. Therefore, they will twist the truth, downplay their behavior, blame others and say whatever it takes to remain the victim. They are master manipulators and conartists that don’t believe you are smart enough to figure out the depth of their disloyalty. Their needs will always be more important than telling you any truth that isn’t in their favor..
― Shannon L. Alder

How to recognize a narcissistic person

Narcissism is a personality disorder with some easily noticeable traits. However, some of them are not so easy to observe quickly. But once you get familiar with these traits, you’ll be able to recognize their psychological profile and behavioral patterns.

1. They are highly manipulative – they will use you to complete their goals by playing with your emotions

2. They are very sensitive to their physical appearance and how people see them

3. Oversensitivity to criticism is their major characteristic, and their rage can escalate quickly

4. The others are to blame for all; a narcissistic is never to blame for anything

5. They are vindictive. If you do not play by their rules, they will have a desire to destroy you

6. Taking control is their thing. They like to have other people and things under their control

7. They seek validation, because deep inside they are deeply insecure

8. Fear is their dominant emotion, because they are scared that they might be abandoned, ashamed, or exposed who they are

9. They cannot assess the consequences of their actions on others, and they feel no empathy

10. They like to surround themselves with attractive and successful people because it boosts their self-confidence

best way to deal with a narcissist
How To Recognize A Narcissistic Person

 

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Get over a narcissist and leave their vicious cycle

If the things have gone too far and too wrong, it’s the time to kick them out of your life. You will need a lot of strength and determination because they will not make it easier for you. They will use all the available means of manipulation to persuade you to stick with them as long as it works fine for them. They won’t let you go that easily. From a personal experience, we know this process requires a lot of energy and strength.  The best way to say goodbye to a narcissist is to stick to your decision no matter what and use all of your power and energy to survive the ordeals caused by them in the meanwhile.

Related: What are toxic people signs?

What is the right time to end the relationship with them?

As soon as you feel any of the symptoms listed here:

Losing your self-confidence

You feel helpless and under his/her control

You are questioning yourself and your sanity because of him/her and their tricks

Anxiety is an integral part of your relationship

You’re influenced by his/her behavior

An abundance of negative energy you get from him/her is your reality

Feel manipulated/isolated/with damaged self-respect

He/She continually tries to persuade you that he/she is your only reliable person, that you don’t deserve or can’t find a better one

But how to tell a narcissist goodbye for good?

You are wondering how to tell a narcissist goodbye & how to get out of their vicious cycle. The process is going to be far from easy. This will be an unpleasant and grueling struggle to regain control over your life.

The narcissist will test your limits and tolerance all along the way. But once you are determined to kick them out, you have to be persistent and remain strong. That type of person will do any hoax, trick, and invent tall stories to make you believe he/she changed.

The process is going to be far from easy

Once you become aware of the magnitude of narcissistic manipulation, bear that in your mind always. Narcissistic people cannot change. They can only pretend very well.

Best way to say goodbye to a narcissist – phases

We have divided this process into phases you need to go through to be able to get rid of the narcissist for good. Each of the phases is equally important and has its challenges you need to overcome. Therefore, the best way to say goodbye to a narcissist is to be aware of the situation you’re in and don’t let them ruin your decision. Here are the phases of this process:

best way to say goodbye to a narcissist

Awakening phase

Awakening comes when the consequences of dealing with a narcissist become severe and devastating.

It’s hard to break the illusion that you live in when you’re with a narcissist due to their tremendous deceptive abilities. Accepting the reality is painful and harsh, but it is of crucial importance for your emotional healing.

A narcissistic person can fool you for a specified period of time, but not your whole life as he/she would want.

The awakening process happens sooner or later. Usually, awakening comes when the consequences of dealing with a narcissist become severe and devastating.

Get over a narcissist -the changes start with this stage

Your quality of life may drastically decline, suspicion rises, and your self-respect and mental health deteriorate. This is the vital stage of this process. You may know by now that to get over a narcissist is a hard and painful process, but you need to keep going.

Once you become aware of the harsh reality, you know it’s the time to make some decisions and take actions.

Mollifying the consequences of this relationship and building up your self-respect again

This phase is mostly about introspection, assessing your values, and regaining your self-confidence

Taking the appropriate actions against a narcissist is not easy at all. A strong and decisive action requires self-confidence and self-respect. But you’re likely to be weak and exhausted from the constant battles with a narcissist.

If a narcissist is in your environment, building up your self-respect will be a daunting task. However, you have to persevere.
can you fix a narcissist

This phase is mostly about introspection, assessing your values, and regaining your self-confidence. However, narcissistic people are persistent and irritant.

A narcissist will find the way to make this harder for you

They can feel even the tiny changes in your behavior, and they are ready to start a fight if they notice the things are out of their control.

A narcissist will find the way to make this harder for you, but your happiness and mental health are at stake. His/her behavior will only speed up the third phase.

Time for action

All actions come down to the same things: lowering the impact of a narcissist in your life and distancing yourself.

To get over a narcissist requires some action. This is the core of this process. All actions come down to the same things: lowering the impact of a narcissist in your life and distancing yourself.

However, you can not distance yourself totally if a narcissist is your family member, but you can set him/her firm borders that are not allowed to cross. Also, you need to state that person that he/she has no control over you anymore.

A narcissist will cry, beg, and promise drastic changes in his/her behavior

However, a narcissist will not let you go that easily. He/she will cry, beg, promise significant behavioral changes, or start acting differently just to impress you. Please don’t be fooled.

confronting a narcissist

Psychology has proved that a narcissist cannot change that drastically and efficiently, so that is another way of their manipulation.

No use of explaining to them what’s going on and why you have to leave them, they will not understand. The best thing is just to leave.

Persistence against all attacks

In this phase, he/she will try to humiliate and downgrade you as much as he/she can

But we’re not done yet. A narcissist will be persistent, but you need to be even more persistent and decisive. A narcissist will eventually conclude that he/she has lost you.

In this phase, he/she will try to humiliate and downgrade you as much as he/she can. Spreading gossips can also be a part of their strategy. But don’t fall for that. These actions are their last attempts to deal with you.

The best way to say goodbye to a narcissist is to ignore all their attacks in this phase. It’s unpleasant, horrible and rude – we know, but this is just their tactic to intimidate you.

In this phase, their contempt will be apparent to see.

Emotional healing time

Try to understand the reasons that attracted you to a narcissist

It’s time to heal your wounds, find your inner peace, relax, and treat your experience as a valuable life lesson. Try to learn as much as you can from this bad experience and move on. Give yourself the answers to these questions:

depression after narcissistic abuse

What have I learned?
What are the characteristics of the narcissistic persons you were close to?
What can you expect from that type of persons?
How to recognize them quickly?
How to walk away painlessly?

Also, think about yourself and the role you had in this type of relationship. Perhaps you are a sensitive person, an empath, and they were acting as victims.

Or maybe you were insecure and convinced that you couldn’t do better?

Try to understand the reasons that attracted you to a narcissist, because it can help you avoid that pattern of relations in the future.

Get back to your normal life

Use this experience to avoid other narcissists in the future

Finally, this is the phase to continue with your life, focus on yourself, and make new plans.

But always be aware of the lesson the narcissist gave you, you’ll never know when you need it. Also, narcissistic persons have similar behavoural patterns, so that you can use this experience to avoid other narcissists in the future.

Best way to say goodbye to a narcissist and heal yourself

To get over a narcissist is far from easy. It is a long, painful, but necessary process. Getting rid of a narcissistic person might be the bravest and hardest thing to do in your life, but it worth it!

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